Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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