so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
