i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
