i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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