Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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