yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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