She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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