Me too!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize