This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
