Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Screwed.edu
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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