Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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