I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
