I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
