Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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