R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
