I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
