I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i now understand why vodka
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
