Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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