I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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