Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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