My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
