I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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