i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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