We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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