Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
