I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
