take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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