Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
