you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
