This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize