Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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