butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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