Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
