We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
