# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Randomize
