She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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