I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
