Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
