He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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