i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
