Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
