Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Tell her she can't have a vagina
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
