Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize