im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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