Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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