Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
