That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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