I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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