So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
