you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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