you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
