He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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