My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
