Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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