Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
