Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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