i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize