my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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