I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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