Jerry, you need to find god
lets start a swedish sibling band together
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
