you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
