I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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