I think I died a long time ago.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
