I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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