His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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