Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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