very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
there is glitter all over my balls
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