There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
